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Author Archives: E
Unconventional Grief
I do not want to see you in that box, the left-behind shell, the husk you are now. I want to see the whole of you. The way you would complain every time my nails were not perfect, when my … Continue reading
Danae
In the morning, golden sunlight cascades into view. A kiss upon my skin that causes me to stretch and shift to catch the soft, heated embrace. I can feel my warm lover caressing my figure, everywhere that my flesh bares … Continue reading
The Mask
Once worn, I feel emboldened. There is safety in anonymity. I am but a character in a story, not the person who suffers the ups and downs of the every day. With the facade in place, I can change as … Continue reading
Just breathe
One breath in. One breath out. It requires no thought but enhances the efficacy of contemplation. Without it, survival is impossible. The act of inhalation and exhalation remains among the simplest and most necessary of bodily functions. Take a breath. … Continue reading
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Tomorrow it begins again. I wake up. I rush to get ready, often skipping all but the barest essentials. My drive is forgotten after I reach the next block. Did I run a red light? Was it green? But I … Continue reading
Halo
I watched you in the sunlight standing over me. In that one instant you didn’t seem to belong; out of place; out of synch; as if the sun had dropped you upon this earth. Pale hair, golden skin, tawny golden … Continue reading
The Puddle of Suck
I admit, I have suffered from depression. Clinical, real depression. I don’t talk about it overly much and I don’t let my co-workers know, though some of my friends are aware. I am a depressive person in remission. I’ve learned … Continue reading
Breath
In a breath, everything changes. I turn my head to see the distant sound of someone else’s conversation or the flicker of movement in the corner of my eye only to discover something has grown in front of me. Organic, … Continue reading
Experiment
What is an experiment but a test that you have control over? You set the parameters, the assumptions you have to operate within, but you set the conditions from which the world blooms. The blossom unveils true colors that may … Continue reading
Forgotten
Of use one moment, then abandoned upon the ground, the glint of a piece of plastic half-hidden by the snow is found. A piece of non-biodegradable waste once used for something useful: to keep something clean; to keep it edible; … Continue reading
Emotional Day
Have you ever had one of those emotional days? Without reason, the tears seem to rise like a river growing after the snow. Bit by bit, the edges collapse in on themselves, those little chips of ice, until the water … Continue reading
Happiness
Lazy day thunderstorm, with a new, thick, unread book and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies still warm and oozing gooey in my mouth. Sun warms my mostly bared back with no bugs, protected from the itchy slice of grass blades … Continue reading
Why I am a shallow blogger
1. I’m not lazy. My father used to call it that, but I’ve learned that my focus is a perfect symptom of a functioning depressive. I approach everything with intensity and verve but while I can maintain this far longer … Continue reading
Choose Your Life
When I was a kid, I used to LOVE choose your adventure books. I was never willing to commit, though. I would find the solution I chose, but before I read it, I would stick a finger in and then … Continue reading
Countdown
Five. I’ve never understood the golden rings, when the number five has always been more like a hand lifted in the expression of unarmed proof or perhaps halt. Four. Two plus two or two times two, the number of the … Continue reading
Dopamine
They (unsung neurologists or stranger on the street who can get no stranger than the neurologists) say avoid addiction, especially if you have an addictive personality. But how can you identify your own obsessive, unquenchable thirst for fulfillment and anonymous … Continue reading
Blue
Why is it a color of sorrow? It is the color of a clear day free from fog or rain. The hue of succulent fruit, of reflective ocean waves greetings in such familiar fashion, and clean toilet bowls. Antiseptic, scoured … Continue reading
Nomination or curse?
Thanks to Todd Duffey who writes on stuff (Todd Duffey’s Blog of Stuff) I have been nominated. Although I start to question if this is so much a nomination or a curse! As a result of this nomination – I … Continue reading
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Embrace paradoxical anachronisms
I sing Good King Wenseslaus in the middle of June. I crave Italian ice in December. Because it storms, I eat pie for breakfast, but sausages and pancakes for dinner. I have picnicked beneath a table during a blizzard and … Continue reading
The Fly
I don’t know how it made it in and I cannot get it to leave, but there is the incessant, endless grating buzzing when it flings itself against the lightbulb in my lamp. Is it the warmth that draws it … Continue reading
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