Only America could find people so deranged that beauty is found in the number of holes and rings poked through every part of their anatomy from ears, to nose, to navel, to nipples. Hair color ranges from purple to fire-engine red and bleached white. Whole areas of the head are shaven to form interesting designs and adages on both males and females.
Clothing is another wonder created for one purpose only; to wound the eye of the beholder. It is common practice in America for teenagers’ clothing to be worn not only as shabbily as possible, but also as full of rips and tears as well. For the males, generally, clothes are to be worn in the largest size possible before they will actually fall off the body or be tripped over. Females, on the other hand, tend to wear clothing so tight that you are unsure whether they squeezed into their clothes or if the clothes climbed onto the flesh like some kind of leech, permanently sucking on the skin. Strange absences of cloth are often found in the shoulders or bottom regions. Whether this lack of material is due to insufficient funding or plumage purposes is debatable. A sort of diabolical Renaissance has come back into style: the body is beautiful so wear as little as possible and leave as much body hanging out seems to be the only doctrine in the younger generation.
The more conservative clothing of American adults is only a small amount better. Chartreuse pants suits and magenta shorts outfits are not uncommon among the older women. The outfits that this generation chooses tend to be in unflattering colors and such styles that the cloth clings to the most unsavory body parts. The cute little matching suits are designed for the older woman to recapture her lost youth by wearing “cute” clothing. Turtlenecks with teddy bears or sweaters with piggies look sweet and adorable on anorexic models, but on obese, older women, the farm animals are stretched beyond recognition, the smiling faces grotesquely altered into macabre grins.
Older men’s clothing is not terribly offensive, but their bodies can be. In a country where most people claim to be “health conscious,” it amazes me to no end to see the number of men who continuously insist that golf is a strenuous sport. An obscene number of men have the classic office-man figure. This figure is defined by a prominent swag-bellied stance with a pseudo-enciente grossness in the stomach and nether regions. The jowls on an office man tend to hang low and the hair is either grey, or balding, or both. The office man always consoles himself with the almost comical vision of himself as a “dignified” personage. I see nothing dignified about a paunch which sags down to the knees. And what’s even worse than looking at these terrible figures is the knowledge that these fathers will pass on their dreadful secrets of how to let the body fall into total disuse while still maintaining the argument that they love sports and are physically active.
This information trades hands at the annual feast, worshiping the God of the Bulge, also known as the Superbowl. So far, the only “super” thing that has been found in the superbowl is the phenomenon of huge crowds of men stuffing their faces, yelling and making crude noises while a few millionaires throw a ball back and forth and ump over each other. During this feast, huge amounts of beer, potato chips, hoagies, pizza, and generic cheesie-doodle items are consumed. All you have to do is look at the grocery bags to know that a Superbowl season is ramping up. In this way, men train their sons to enjoy feasting on these foods while yelling at a television. If a boy does not love football, he may not be considered a man by the general population. So, by the time they have passed puberty, young men have been indoctrinated into the Superbowl, not necessarily for the sport, but for the tradition and what it stands for.
Women have no specific day set aside for eating disgusting foods and making animals out of themselves, however, girls are taught from birth that chocolate is the forbidden fruit. They are taught to desire chocolate in such an unreasonable craving that they have almost no control over themselves. Then, upon devouring the sweets, they moan about the state of their thighs, upper arms or stomach. It doesn’t matter how slender the girl is, she’s still taught to gripe about her weight.
It is unreasonable, the ugliness that mankind creates, to make him feel better about his own shortcomings. Perhaps it is better just to accept them and enjoy the beauty found in life and nature. Unfortunately, in America, that idea is just a little too simple to be easily followed. America needs to learn to love life.